I obviously have not been blogging for a while, and I think I owe an explanation, as the reason is not because of a found hobby or something that gripping of all my time. It is not a very compelling justification, but it is something that I find can dictate my feelings immensely. And that is my compulsive desire to follow a strict routine (what the hell does that mean?). Allow me to explain. I told myself that after my blog was satisfactory in appearance, and I was familiar enough with how to upload various medias, I would blog every single day regardless of anything. Well, I did do that for a short period as I deemed it necessary, and allotted time to it as a part of my day. By no means do I live a busy life in the summer, so it’s not even that this desire of mine rooted from a proactive mindset to organize my day. I just hate when I am not in control of what I am doing, and when I am not used to something.

This is why when I am expected to go to school after a long period of isolation or just meeting with my friends, whom I love, I am met with many heaps of anxiety. I’m always fine when in the middle of the school year or when a few days have passed, but once something new is introduced after I have been experiencing another thing, my body does not react in a kind way. This is why the effects of me skipping one day of blogging were lasting until this moment, as I grew accustom to that lack of action.

I was quite busy in the past week, just with my birthday stuff, but that didn’t inhibit my ability to write (as I love to do it), it was just my excuse of succumbing to the pressure of this new routine. While it may be completely barbaric to you, and this concept seems like it was drawn from my ass, I assure you of its legitimacy.

And although I have this routine habit to follow a routine, I still try new things and do different activities, I just have to know about them and mentally adjust to that. I love adventures, and am fond of that degree of unpredictability, but it has to originate from some type of initially planned event. And so I am hoping that after this post I will overcome the lazy, yet persistent attitude in my head that literally allows me do nothing. Because when I actually do something I realize how much happier I feel (oh god this is turning into a hallmark card), and it is only myself building a barrier from achieving that (ending with a bang) (Happy Hanukkah everyone).